Flashback During Pregnancy with Madilyn

     Today I was thinking alot about my pregnancy with Madilyn, and how it was so difficult.  When I went in for my first ultrasound at 13 weeks they saw a cyst on her umbilical cord, and they were very concerned about it.  They really wanted to keep a close eye on it because they weren't sure if it would affect her growth in utero.  At that point they weren't quite sure what kind of cyst it was, and thought possibly it was a sign of down syndrome or trisonomy.  I went in every 4 weeks for ultrasounds to check the blood flow from me to her in utero, and to track her growth.  Towards the end, 32 weeks on I went weekly for stress test to check her activity in utero, and any sign of distress on baby. 
     Madilyn didn't move much during the pregnancy so I was always concerned.  There were many times I thought I had miscarried.  Around  20 weeks we did the maternal Serum Screening which identifies pregnancies at higher-than-average risk of certain serious birth defects, including neural tube defects, like spina bifida, and chromosomal abnormalities like Down syndrome.  The test came back normal, so we didn't do the amniocentesis.  At the beginning of my pregnancy I was also put on baby aspirin, and progesterone.  I had 3 miscarriages prior to Madilyn so these medications were a precaution to try to prevent miscarriage.  Sometimes I wonder if the aspirin or progesterone could of caused some of Madilyn's issues.  I also wonder if the cyst on her umbilical cord caused something in her little body not to develop right.   I do catch myself going back in time when I was pregnant with her and wonder if there were any real clues to what could of been wrong.
   Madilyn to our surprise came 3 weeks early weighing in at 6 pounds.  Along with the doctor, we were expecting her to win a trip to the NICU because of the unknown cause of the cyst, and being early.  The doctor was really anticipating her birth because of the mysteries cyst on her umbilical cord.  To every one's surprise, Madilyn came out kicking and screaming, and looked normal in every way.  The doctor examined the Placenta and sure enough there was a cyst the size of a  golf ball attached where the umbilical cord inserts into the placenta.  Doctor had never seen such a thing, and decided to send it off  for pathology.
    Madilyn didn't nurse all that great at the hospital, but everything else seemed to be fine.  She came home with us 3 days later.   I do catch myself often thinking back to the pregnancy and wonder what it could of been that caused her hypotonia, and development delays.  I realize I may never know, and know it may not of  changed the outcome.  It is kinda ironic cuz I was  one of those woman who watched what I ate, drank, and did during pregnancy.   I always took my prenatal's, and did exactly what the OB told me to do.  Then you have those who don't do any of that, and never have a difficult pregnancy and have healthy babies. 
I guess going back in time doesn't help much other then remembering the good that came from all of it.  I did get a beautiful baby girl, and she is a miracle!  She is a little drop of Heaven and reminds me everday that heavenly father is near!